


And he shall be called Yummy

by QueenofSchmoop



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boyking!Sam, Consort!Dean, Crack, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Season/Series 03, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Spoilers up to "Sin City", Wincest-Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: A demon comes to worship Demon Jesus Sam and let’s slip a secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my first Wincest fics I ever wrote and/or posted. I have left it largely unaltered except for brushing it up a little.

Sam and Dean Winchester were both lying on their motel beds when the knock came. Sam had his head buried in a book, unsurprisingly. Dean was watching TV and eating—also not a surprise. 

They were in a motel in Orlando, Nebraska (and Dean had to be smacked upside the head several times by Sam before he would stop with the jokes), having just finished a hunt. It hadn’t been that difficult, for once. A simple salt and burn of a spirit. They were spending the night and then heading on to their next gig. After all, they had already paid for the room. 

They had not been expecting anyone and they hadn’t ordered pizza or Chinese, having eaten at the local Denny’s a few hours ago. The brothers exchanged looks, Dean’s hand sliding under his pillow for the knife he still slept with. Sam got up and went to check the peephole in the door. 

“Who is it?” Dean asked in a low voice.

“Some guy I’ve never seen before,” Sam answered. 

“Open it up but be careful, Sammy.”

Sam did just that, cracking the door enough to see and speak. “Yeah?”

“Oh, my Lord, thank badness I’ve found you!” It was a high-pitched voice, filled with glee. 

“Um…”

“Dearest Lord Samuel, please, I have come to offer you my life and my pledge to follow you!”

Alarmed, Sam opened the door wide. Standing on the step was a young man, probably around 21, with honey blond hair and bright blue eyes. He was smiling but twisting his hands nervously. He wore jeans and a polo shirt. He looked clean-cut, a college student maybe, the type who gets good grades. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean demanded as he strode forward toward the door. 

The young man startled. “Oh Beloved Consort Dean, you’re here too. Of course, you would be,” he muttered to himself, embarrassed. “Please don’t shoot me, I’ve only come to pledge my allegiance to the Boy King!”

Sam blushed bright red and ducked his head. Dean blinked hard, twice and then said, “buh-what now?”

“May I come in?” 

“No. Not until you explain.”

Sam took over. “Yes, come in,” he gestured. 

“Sam!”

“I think we should move this discussion indoors, Dean!” He hissed under his breath. 

The young man had stepped inside and was looking around, devouring everything he saw with his eyes. 

Dean stepped toward him. “Hey!” He turned to look at him. “Christo!”

The young man’s eyes went black as night. 

“Shit! Sam, way to go letting a demon in here!” Dean dropped the knife and scrabbled for the newly rebuilt Colt. 

“Wait, please!” the demon cried, holding his hands up in the air. “I’m not here to hurt anyone! Least of all you two.”

“Then why are you here?” Sam asked, holding out a hand as a signal to Dean not to shoot. Dean held off for a minute but kept the Colt trained on the demon. 

“I told you, I’m here to follow you, Lord Samuel. I’ve come to pledge my life and eternal service to you.” Sam started as the demon fell to his knees and genuflected. “You are the Lord Samuel Winchester, the Boy King and future ruler of Hell, bringer of Hell on Earth. Hand picked by Azazel himself! I wish only to serve you, My Lord, and do as you command.”

Dean snorted as Sam’s face turned red again, his expression one of mortification. “Um, listen…do you have a name?”

“I am only a lesser demon, My Lord, and have not been graced as such.”

“Yeah, okay, first cut out the My Lord stuff, all right?”

“As you wish, My—I mean, um…well…”

“Sam.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah. You’re inhabiting a human, right?”

“Yes, M—Sam.”

“What’s his name?”

“David Thompkins. I believe most of his friends call him Dave.”

“That’ll have to do. Look Dave, I’m not the demon messiah or whatever. I’m just a guy. I mean, I hunt demons! I’m a hunter. Yeah, the yellow-eyed demon picked me but I make my own fate and all. I’m not going to become the ruler of Hell or whatever.”

Dave’s face crumpled. “But…but we all want you to! There are so many demons ready to follow you, My Lord—I mean, Sam! You don’t understand how much we all love you!”

“Love me?” Sam was non-plussed. 

“Oh yes!” Dave looked up, his face enraptured. “We love you so much! You’re smart and funny and clever and strong and you’ve got the best hair!”

Dean was shaking from trying not to laugh. A snort escaped and Sam shot him a look. 

“Oh, the bitchface!” Dave moaned in ecstasy. “Wait till I tell everyone I got to see it!”

Dean couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing, doubling over from the force of it. “Oh man!” He wheezed out. “Sammy…”

“Shut up, jerk,” Sam growled at him and turned back to Dave. “Look, I don’t want a bunch of demons worshipping me!”

“But Sam,” the demon whined.

Dean stepped forward. “Listen, this might not be a bad thing.”

“What?”

“If these demons all pledge to do what you say, Sammy, then you can have them kill themselves. Or tell ‘em not to harm anyone. They’d have to do what you say, right?” He asked the prostate Dave. 

“Oh yes, Beloved Consort! We would do anything Lord Samuel told us to!”

“See?” Dean pointed at Sam. Then he frowned. “Wait, that’s the second time you’ve called me that. What’s it mean?”

But Sam cut in. “You can’t be serious!” he shouted. “You want me to tell a bunch of demons to, what, play nice?”

“Why not?” Dean was still frowning. He turned to Dave. “If Sam told you and the rest to do that, would you?”

“Of course!” Dave got up on his knees and looked up, adoringly, at Sam. “We would do whatever you say! Please, don’t send me back. We only want to serve you and stay up here on Earth. Hell is…well, it’s awful!”

“Duh,” Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s Hell.”

“I like it here. There’s ice cream and puppies and candy and pretty trees and cable TV and all kinds of good stuff! And you’re here, Lord Samuel—I mean, Sam. You and your Beloved Consort. Please? I’ll do whatever you want,” he wheedled. 

“I’m just supposed to trust the word of a demon?” 

“We can draw up a contract!” Dave snapped his fingers. “I’ll sign in blood or whatever you want! Just, please don’t send me away.” Now Dave fell back down and scooted closer. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s calves and started to cry. “I don’t want to go away from you, My Lord!”

Dean was smirking, trying not to laugh again. Sam looked down at the demon crying at his feet and sighed. “Please,” he reached down to pry him off, “get off me.”

“Oh, I did not mean to touch you without permission!” Dave sprang to his feet and backed away. “I know the only one who is allowed is the Beloved Consort.”

“Again with that—“

“But I do want to stay here, please!” Dave rushed on. “Don’t send me away!”

“Um…look, just,” he gestured toward the bed, “just sit there for a minute, okay? I’ve got to talk to Dean.”

Dave nodded happily. “Of course!” He plopped down on the bed and ran his fingers over the cheap comforter, humming happily. 

Sam dragged Dean into the bathroom, leaving the door open to keep an eye on the guy. “Dean, could stop laughing for a minute and help me!”

“Seems obvious to me, ‘Lord Samuel’. This demon will do anything for you cause his big man-crush on ya. Tell him to live a good happy life and not kill anybody.”

“But there’s still a human inside that body!” Sam protested. 

“You’ll figure something out.” Dean stepped away from Sam and back into the main room. “Hey Dave!” The demon looked up. “You gonna tell me what this Beloved Consort stuff means, now?”

Dave opened his mouth to answer but Sam strode in front of him and spoke instead. “Dave, what’s happened to the human inside you?”

“He is here,” Dave immediately turned his attention toward Sam. “He’s…I guess you would call it sleeping.”

“What happens to him if I let you stay in this guys body?” 

“He can stay as well. I will even let him out from time to time.”

“But you’re still stealing his body, his life!” Sam pointed out. “It’s not right.”

“Maybe they can share. The demon gets Tuesdays and Thursdays and the guy gets Monday, Wednesday and Friday,” Dean put forth. 

“Dean!”

“Or I can raise his consciousness enough so that it will be like sharing,” Dave said. 

“You can do that?”

“Oh yes.”

“But how would this guy feel, sharing his body with a demon?” Sam asked. 

“I think he’d be all right.” Dave’s eyes went fuzzy. “He says it would be cool, as long as he got to use my demon powers on occasion.”

Dean laughed again as Sam stood there. “He’s got you there, Sammy!” 

Sam sighed. “Fine. Suppose I say it’s okay for you to stay. What happens then?”

“I inhabit Dave Thompkins and live life as a human until you require something of me, Lord Samuel. Then I drop everything to do your bidding.”

“Even if it meant killing other demons?”

“I know you would only kill the bad ones, My Lord.”

Sam let that slide. “And you would not do anything bad or evil or that could hurt anyone?”

“Not unless you commanded me.” Dave looked away, blushing. “I would like to see you, speak to you, every once in a while, My Lord. I know you’re very busy but you are our Boy King and…” He had to stop because Dean was laughing so loud that he couldn’t be heard. Dave watched the Beloved Consort clutching at his stomach, crying from mirth. He grinned as he got to see yet another bitchface from his Demon!Saviour. 

“Shut up!” Sam told Dean and then turned back to Dave. “You said we could do a contract?”

“Oh yes!” A snap of his fingers and a piece of parchment appeared, along with an old fashioned quill. 

“You don’t want to seal the deal like the Crossroads Demon?” Dean wheezed from the floor, where he had fallen. 

Dave blushed bright red. “Oh no!” he gasped. “We all know the only one allowed to do that sort of thing is you, Beloved Consort!”

“The hell?” Dean stopped laughing. 

“Oh!” Dave clasped his hands over his mouth. “I’m sorry!” he cried to Sam, falling at his feet again. “I didn’t mean to let it slip!”

“Sam, what the fuck is he talking about?”

Sam was busy dealing with a distraught demon. “Dave…”

“Please, please, forgive me! It’s your own business if you tell him or not.”

“Tell me what?” Dean interjected but was overridden by more pleas from the demon. 

Sam grabbed him by the arms and pulled him up, touched his face. “It’s okay!” He shouted. “Calm down, I forgive you.”

“Really?” Dave squeaked out, wiping at streaming eyes. 

“Really.” Sam crossed the room and grabbed some Kleenexes. “Here. Blow your nose.” 

Dave did as commanded then dropped the wad in the wastebasket. “I really didn’t mean to let it slip like that,” he snuffled. 

“I know.” Sam thought for a minute, looking at this totally miserable looking guy. “Um…here,” he spread his arms wide. 

Dave’s eyes went wide as he sucked in a breath. “I can have… _a hug_?”

You’d have thought he was talking about having something far more precious, like Twinkies or a winning lottery ticket or Angelina Jolie’s phone number, Dean thought. The look of rapture on the demon’s face could have lit a city for a month. 

“Yeah,” Sam shifted. 

Trembling, Dave stepped into those big arms and let them settled around them. He gingerly placed his own around his Messiah and then finally let himself feel it all. He let out a sound that reminded Dean of someone orgasming.

“Better?” Sam said at last, disentangling himself. 

“Oh you give the best hugs ever, Lord Samuel!” The demon was beside himself with joy. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

“Well, let’s draw up this contract,” Sam pushed his hair out of his eyes. Dean sat down for a long wait and sure enough, Sam and the demon went through like 20 drafts before they settled on the final language. He got bored and went back to his snacking. 

At last Sam said, “That should do it.”

“All we need do is sign,” Dave nodded happily. “Shall we do it in ink or blood?”

“Ink,” came Sam’s immediate reply. 

“As you wish.” Dave offered the pen to Sam. “Would you like to go first?”

Maybe it was just a little bit of the hunter but he shook his head. “Why don’t you go first?”

“OK!” Dave grabbed the pen and parchment and scribbled his name on it. Then he handed it over to Sam, who reread it one last time and then signed his own name. “Samuel Winchester,” the demon sighed happily. “Now the deal is sealed!” He stood. “I’ll get to work on it right away!”

“Sounds good.”

“Hold up!” Dean shouted, stopping Dave in his tracks. “You are going to explain that Beloved Consort stuff and I mean right now!”

Dave turned questioning eyes back toward Sam. “My Lord?”

“No, you’re going to tell me,” Dean moved closer. “I’ve got no deal with you and I will shoot you with the Colt if you don’t.”

“Dean!”

“I’m serious. Now friggin’ tell me!”

“Lord Samuel!”

“Dean, he doesn’t have to—“

“Why don’t you want him to tell me, Sammy?”

“Cause it’s none of your business!”

“I think it is when demons show up and start calling me names!” Dean said. 

“It doesn’t mean anything bad—“

“I know what it means and I want to hear him say it! Unless you want to tell me, Sammy.”

Sam went silent, looking away. 

“That’s what I thought.” Dean turned back to the demon. “Now, tell me.”

Dave wavered for a minute then his eyes dropped to the Colt tucked in Dean’s pants. “ItmeansthatLordSamuelisinlovewithyouandhadbeensincehewas12,” the demon said all in a rush. “Andsincehe’sthedemonmessiahyouareobviouslyhisbelovedconsort,” he finished and flashed Sam an apologetic look.

“The fuck?” Dean puzzled through all that and then turned his head to look at his brother. “Sammy?”

“Dean, I…I mean, it doesn’t have to…well, you know…” Sam put his hands in his hair. “It’s true.”

“You love me?!” Dean shouted. “Like violins and flower petals and shit love me?”

Sam dropped his head and muttered, “uh, yeah.”

Dean turned back to Dave. “And this is common knowledge to you demons?”

“Yes.” Seeing more was needed Dave went on. “We all knew you guys were close, closer than normal brothers. But ever since Sam died he’s been feeling the tug more and more.”

“The tug?”

“Lust. He’s been giving into his secret fantasies at night and daydreaming and everything. He’s finally letting himself revel in his feelings for you.”

“In his head.”

“Well, yeah.”

“And you were going to tell me…when?” Dean turned to ask Sam. 

“Never, I hoped.”

“He feels so guilty!” Dave burst out. “You’re his brother and it’s incest and at first he was afraid that it was because of the demon blood in him then he thought he came back wrong, twisted somehow but—“

“Excuse me,” Dean pursed his lips. “I believe I was talking to my brother.”

“Oh. Sorry, Beloved Consort.” The demon hung his head in an eerie duplicate of Sam’s. 

Dean ignored that for a minute and crossed over to where Sam was standing. “Sam? Sammy? Look at me.”

“No.”

“Sam Winchester,” Dean said in what they both liked to call his ‘Dad’ voice. It sounded so much like John that Sam snapped his head up. “That’s better. He tellin’ the truth?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s this talk about demon blood?”

“Um…” 

Dean waited a second then turned and spoke to Dave. “I think this will be easier to get out of him if you leave.”

“Leaving!” He opened the door and then paused, “I hope you and the Beloved Consort finally get to do ‘the horizontal mambo’, My Lord. And thank you!” With that the demon left. 

Dean arched an eyebrow after him and then turned back to his brother. “Sam? I’m still waiting for an explanation.” 

Sam sighed and began to explain all that he had seen in the vision Azazel showed him. He went on to detail his feelings for Dean and some of his best fantasies too. He didn’t look at Dean once during this recitation. When he finally did Dean was staring at him, face still. 

“I’ll go.”

“Go?”

“Don’t you want me to leave?” Sam asked. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “You are an idiot, aren’t you? How’d you get into college again?”

“Hey!”

Dean walked right into Sam’s personal space, putting his face right there. He captured Sam’s face in his hands and brought it close. “I’m going to kiss you, ‘Lord Samuel’, and you better kiss me back, bitch. Maybe a little later we’ll get to that horizontal mambo stuff.”

Sam had time to squeak and then Dean was kissing him. He let it happen for a minute. Dean pulled back. “Some audience participation might be nice,” he mumbled then leaned back in again. 

Sam’s brain finally kicked his hormones and got them started and he kissed back, losing himself in the taste of his brother. When they both finally had to stop for air, Dean said, “Jesus!”

“That’s demon Jesus to you, Beloved Consort.”

Dean shook his head and shut Sam up the best way he knew how--with another kiss. 

 

End


End file.
